True American: Part Two
How is the weather in Australia? It’s weird that it’s so warm here at Camp Stars and Stripes. It’s March, yet it feels like summer. You remember how cold it usually is in March. I don’t know why it’s so hot. It’s always freezing in Colorado Springs in March.
Today we had to make wallets. The wallet making room is set up as a sweatshop. I think we’re making wallets for the Lord’s clothing line. Samira had heard some news she wanted to share with me:
“I heard a rumor that soon it won’t only be us down here,” Samira muttered to me as she accidentally stabbed herself with a needle.
“Oh? Who is going to join us?” I asked. Samaira’s finger was starting to bleed. She quickly wrapped a bit of leather around it. If it gets infected she could end up losing it. We’re both terrible at sewing. Sewing isn’t exactly covered when you’re studying electrical engineering in university. At least now I won’t have to pay off my student loans.
“The others,” she murmured. We’re not allowed to speak as we work. I glanced to make sure Counselor Sean is distracted. He was watching Fox News.
“How many?” I muttered back.
“I’m not sure. Lots, probably. California is losing the war.”
That isn’t news to me. I just don’t know how badly they are losing. Every night after dinner, we get to watch a recap of the news. Last night the announcer claimed that the saints had succeeded in bombing San Diego.
“We will not stand for this!” Kyle hollered. He leaped up onto a table. He hurled a half-finished wallet across the room. I swear Basma, he leaps onto some sort of surface and throws things on a daily basis. “You can’t make us sew wallets! I will not sit down! This is against the will of Allah--”
We all ignored him. Counselor Sean shook the table and Kyle fell to the ground. He gave him a swift kick and informed him that he would not get ham tonight.
“There are a lot of others in California. More than anywhere else.” A tear fell down Samaira’s cheek. “We’re already cramped together. Where are they going to fit everyone?”
“Hurry it up!” Counselor Sean barked. “These wallets have to be at Walmart by sundown!”
I miss you.
Six Months Earlier
As National Registry Expands to Include All of the “Others,” Talk of American Camps Increase
By Jason Kim
Republicans are celebrating due to the recent passage of the Patriot Act 3.0, which now requires not only Muslims to register, but all racial minorities and members of the LGBT community to register. As the ACLU managed to have the Immigrant Initiative and the LGBT Reformation Passage overthrown, our President retaliated with the controversial Executive Order Patriot Act 3.0. While numerous racial minorities and members of the LGBT community have taken to the streets to protest, many other Americans have celebrated.
“I was always a bit suspicious of my neighbor,” Cherry Creek resident Martha White said. “There just wasn’t something right about him. He always told me ‘Happy Holidays,’ never ‘Merry Christmas.’ But now that I know he’s a fag, it all makes sense now. Let’s just say it’s nice to no longer have to pretend to tolerate him.”
Our president tweeted his support of the summer camps, Camp Stars and Stripes, which would teach the others how to embrace American culture and values:
“We’re going to send #others to summer camps. Camps are great. #Americaisgreat”
Thanks to our Lord, the camps should be met with full support. We, and all other other members of the Lord’s media support this decision.
Sarah Mina Osman is a writer and teacher residing in Los Angeles. She loves to travel and has been to four different continents. She has a deep appreciation for tacos and sloths.